Forever a Family!!!

Our sweet boy is finally in our arms! We had a wonderful family day, although it was a really long day for all of us. Our little trooper was in transit for over 24 hours when we finally reached PDX in the wee hours of 12/27! He endured 2 flight delays; his flight leaving Seoul was 4 hours delayed, and we were 4 hours delayed leaving SFO. He was such a good boy, took everything in stride, and *luckily* waited until we got to Grandma and Grandpa's in Portland before having his first major grieving episode. We were very thankful that we got to hang out in SFO most the day after he was placed in our arms, it was nice to have "get to know you" time before setting off on another flight. We even got to hang out with 2 of the other babies from his flight. When we finally arrived at PDX, we were greeted by all 4 grandparents, Uncle Dan, Aunt Joanna and the cousins, and Great-grandma Tee. We were surprised and grateful that they all waited and waited as our flight kept getting further delayed, until we finally arrived at nearly 1AM!

Hope you enjoy the slideshow of our family day!

Kai's Family Day 

Merry Christmas!!!

In just a few short hours, our sweet little boy will be waking up to his first Christmas morning. We, of course, wish he could be waking up in our house, but he will be in our arms in less than 48 hours. Today is a day of mixed emotions; we are so excited that our boy is so close to being home, but also our hearts are breaking for all the challenges he will be going through over the next few days. Please keep us in your holiday prayers; safe travels for all of us, continued health for Kai, and peace in his heart about the changes he's going through.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!!!

 We hope you have a safe and joyous holiday!!

More bonding talk

We have all been waiting a long time to hold and see our baby boy. We have already bonded with him through his photos and have grown to love him. It is hard for us to believe we are still strangers to him! While we are preparing a place for him in our home and hearts, he has not even thought of leaving where he is. He will be experiencing the loss of everything he has ever known in just a few days. A few months ago I wrote a post about bonding and attachment in adoption. Now, with Kai’s arrival approaching, I wanted to bring it to your attention again. We are thrilled that everyone is so excited to welcome our new son, however, we want to make our intentions and expectations clear from the start; we do not want there to be confusion, misunderstandings, or hurt feelings after his arrival. We have done a lot of reading about ways to make healthy attachments with adopted children, and many things we will do might seem odd or inappropriate, but we feel they are important to Kai’s adjustment with us.
As hard as it is to say, please awe at him from our arms for a while! He needs to recognize us as mom and dad before he is ready to be passed around. This is a small window of time we have to develop an appropriate bond. He will be a much happier baby if we give him time to grieve his loses and then form a forever bond. There is no set length of time for this, but we will be able to tell by his reactions whether or not he is ready to be held by others. We still invite you to touch him, hug him, kiss him, talk to him, and play with him. But, for a while, we need to be the only ones to feed, diaper, bathe, cuddle...you get the picture. He will be grieving the loss of his foster family, this usually lasts for at least a few weeks, but grieving episodes could occur for months after his arrival. Grieving episodes are intensified by over stimulation, so we need to keep his world quiet and small for his first weeks with us.
We have been so blessed by this gift. We want to make sure we are doing everything we can for Kai to feel the security his birth-mother wanted for him. We know many of you have bonded with him just as we have! So many of you have prayed daily for him and we do not underestimate the bond or love you feel for him. We hope you understand our need for this special time with our baby boy. If you have any questions, please call or email.

KAI IS COMING HOME!!!!

Some call it Boxing Day, some call it Kwanza, some call it "recovery" day, but from this year forward, we will call it FAMILY DAY!! Our precious little boy will be in our arms forever the DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS!!! We are absolutely thrilled beyond words, so relieved this journey is almost over, and so excited to start our life as a family. We will be leaving on Christmas Day, and will meet him in San Francisco early Wednesday morning! By that evening, we will all be home together. We are so thankful to all our friends and family who have been so supportive during this process; we will never be able to tell you or repay you for all your positive thoughts and prayers. We're almost there!!
RA

Conquering the Mountain

OK, so not really a "mountain", but it is a really big hill! Those of you that had the pleasure of visiting us at our previous house, the one on "the hill", know what I'm talking about. During the 3 years that we lived in that house, I became "one" with the hill. It was my biggest nemesis, and I took pleasure in conquering it on a nearly weekly basis. I overtook it mostly by foot (and a few times by bike while I was training for a duathalon), always with an overwhelming sense of accomplishment at the finish. The route is an almost 4 mile loop, half of which is straight up, the other half is straight down. This probably sounds crazy to most of you, but my running buddies can understand, that hill really helped me through some tough times; always leaving me with a clearer mind and an incredible feat achieved. After the rough time we had this week, waiting for the phone call that never came, I was left with feelings of anger, frustration and confusion. What better way to vent myself than by visiting my old friend, "the hill"? I'm not one to toot my own horn, but I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself. We moved from that house almost a year and a half ago (we now live in the flat lands- not a hill in sight), and I have had only a few hill workouts since, mostly during my marathon training last winter. Since recovering from my stress-fracture, I have done 1 or 2. What I'm trying to say, is that even with very little hill experience lately, I sailed up that thing, in about the same amount of time that it took me when we lived up there, not having to stop or walk at all! Today I clocked 42 minutes, for a very hilly, 4 mile run! More importantly, I was able to vent my frustrations, and now feel able to enjoy what very easily could be our last weekend before parenthood! We're going to try to get everything for Christmas finished up, and have a few holiday events to attend. I hope to return next week with some good news for all of you!!
RA

A lesson in patience

If you're reading this, and it's the most recent post in the blog...relax, you haven't missed "it". The "it" I'm referring to is our long awaited travel call. Here we are, over a week "post VISA", and still no word about our sweet little boy. This week has absolutely been the longest week of my life! Every second just ticks by at a snail's pace as we wait, wait, wait for the phone to ring. I feel like through this whole process I've been pretty patient. Waiting over 10 months for a match, waiting over 11 weeks for immigration clearance...I am starting to lose patience! Really, in terms of what we've gone through, waiting 1-2 weeks for travel notification should not really be a big deal. But, it SOOO is! Maybe it's because we're soo close, maybe it's because everyday is closer to Christmas...I don't know, but this is all really starting to get to me! I am so ready to be done with this, and have our little guy home to start our life as a family.
At least we've been in communication with our agency, and they assure us the Korean agency is "working on it". Not really what I wanted to hear, but much better than a response like, "VISA, what VISA??". They also said that travel is not being delayed due to Kai being ill, so that's good. We just have to pray it stays that way! (They won't let him travel if he gets sick at all, even a cold)
I am starting to lose hope that he'll be home for Christmas. If we don't hear anything this week, he probably won't be.
This is definitely not easy to go through...it's been said many times on my web forum..."Adoption is not for wimps." So true.
Also- happy 10 months to Kai today! We hope you're home very, very soon!!!
RA

Life Takes---VISA!!!!

Kai's VISA was issued TODAY!! Our agency has notified us that we should know his travel plans by early next week! WOW!! What more is there to say? Our prayers are being answered and our dreams are coming true! Now we just need to pray for quick travel arrangements and safe travels for our boy and his escort! This is just so amazing...I am speechless!
RA

In progress...

At this very moment, on the other side of the world, our sweet little boy is having his exit interview!! We have been waiting for this moment all weekend (yes, it's been a long weekend)! OK, so I found out it's not really an "interview". He doesn't even have to go to the embassy. It's more like an appointment that someone from Holt Korea goes to, and takes all his paperwork to get his VISA. I really did like the visions in my head of our little Kai, all dressed in his Sunday best, going down to the embassy to get cleared to come home. But, I am happy that his foster mother does not have to take him, since that would be a lot of trouble for her. This has certainly all become a lot more "real" over the past few days; I am having the sleepless nights and knots in my stomach to prove it.
RA