Are you teaching him Korean?

OK, so this question makes slightly more sense than, "Does he speak English?" That one just gets an eye roll.

But, are we teaching him Korean?...No. At least not right now. We can't teach what we don't know, right? Actually, the whole concept of teaching him about Korean culture is a very thin line for us. Yes, I want him to be aware of his birth culture, and celebrate the wonderful things about it. At the same time, I think it's important for us to realize that he'll be raised as an American. I don't want him to feel alienated from his peers because of emphasis we might place on Korean culture. Having recently listened to adult Korean adoptees talk about how they fit into Korean culture, we learned they simply don't. In Korea, international adoptees are looked at as more American than Korean. So, they're lost somewhere in between. Not quite American, not quite Korean. It is all very sad for us. Everyone wants so desperately for their child to fit in. It breaks my heart that someday, our little boy may very likely have a racial identity crisis. I think the best thing we can do is align him with other international adoptees, from Korea and elsewhere. These are the people who will be his biggest support... the others who have BTDT (been there, done that). The other thing we can do is work hard now to create (and maintain) an open communication about how he feels about this. I know he's a little young to really get it, but I think it's important to practice now, so it all comes naturally when he's older.

OK, so I got off on a little tangent...sorry. But, this has been on my mind recently. And afterall, isn't that what this whole blog thing is about?

Was it hard??

I've been asked this quite a few times: Was the adoption process hard? My answer: No.

Long? Yes. Emotional? Yes. Difficult at times? You bet!

But, overall, is was not really hard. Sure, we had to fill out stacks and stacks of paperwork. Jump when the government asked us to. Fill out 20 page interviews about ourselves. Look at ourselves in a way we never had before. Practice patience. But really, it was not hard. Lucky for us, we're the kind of people who can follow directions very well. That's really all it took. We had a list of steps to complete, and we did it.

As we were going through our homestudy and interview questions, we started joking that everyone who wanted to be a parent should go through what adoptive parents do. If that were the case, there would be a lot less people in this world...

Probably one thing that made it a little easier for us, was that we'd been on this journey to our child for many years, but there had never been a finish line. When we started our adoption process, we finally knew we would have our child at the end. So, it seemed whatever we were asked to do was fine, because it was all part of realizing our dream. Whatever timeline we were given was fine, because we knew we would have our child to hold when we got there...

Any way you cut it, adoption is a crazy roller coaster of emotions.

But now, to get those Good Morning hugs and snuggies... it was worth every single second.

No, the adoption process was not hard. The parenting process... well, that's another story...

Why adopt??

If I'm being completely honest and frank: our decision to adopt was purely selfish. We adopted because we wanted a child. We didn't adopt because we felt it was a humane act, or that we wanted to "save a child". We adopted because we wanted a family, and adoption is one way to build a family.

For us, adoption was the easiest and least risky road to parenthood. As most of you know, we struggled for years through battles with miscarriages and infertility. I still don't know what took us so long to get the message that it just wasn't gonna happen that way! Once we opened our hearts to adoption, it just all made sense. Everything fell into place.

Oh wait, I do know why we went through all those trying years... because our baby just wasn't ready for us yet!

Did you know?

That November is Adoption Awareness month? If you're not directly involved with adoption (or even if you are), you probably didn't. Not exactly being broadcast on the evening news every night. Any how, I thought since I'm blogging everyday this month anyways, and it IS adoption awareness month, I might make a few posts over the next few days to talk about some aspects of OUR adoption. Things you may or may not already know. So, if there's anything you're dying to know, leave it in a comment and I might just entertain your curiousity.

In other breaking news today... I have decided not to do my half marathon this weekend. I am bummed. But, this virus (whatever it is... and it is NOT H1N1...I do feel a little cheated by that) has gotten the best of me over the past 6 days, and the best of my lungs. While I could probably do the race and survive, it's probably not the smartest thing for me to do. Oh well, I'll have another chance in the Spring. Hopefully life will be a less exciting then.

Happy Birthday!!!

To my wonderful Mom! We hope you had a good day, and many blessings for the coming year. You're a very special lady, to us and to everyone who has the honor of knowing you. We love you lots!

We tried calling, but the birthday girl was off partying with her Bunco pals. Kai was so excited to wish someone Happy Birthday, he kept saying it to Grandpa over and over. Since he was in such the spirit, I whipped out my camera to catch the moment on tape.

Weekend at Home

I don't have much to blog about. We've barely left the house since we got home from work on Thursday. I haven't been having any profound thoughts; between the medicine head and trying to keep up with K, I haven't come up with any. I think this is the most we've been home ever! Here are some random facts from our weekend:

- watched Toy Story about 10 times (I really wish this was a joke...it's not)

- had coughing contests

- K managed to get through the whole day today without putting real clothes on; he wore his jammies until 11am when he dawned Mr. Incredible, he wore that until about 3pm when he went potty, he was nakey for a while, then pulled his Buzz Lightyear swim trunks out of his dresser and wore those until bedtime. Now he's in bed, back in his jammies with the swim trunks on top...we're picking our battles right now.

-the only housework I did was 2 loads of laundry (yet to be folded) and dishes. Let's just say we're really hoping not to have to show the house anytime soon.

-we learned that coughing seems to be much like yawning...once one person starts, everyone gets a turn.

-tried to keep everyone's medication schedules straight

-had more snuggie time on the couch than we've probably ever had before

Enough is Enough

Still a bunch of sickos around here. K and I have Dr. appointments in the morning. J is still just coughing, and we're praying he doesn't get worse until I get better. Two sick parents would be no good. I really hope we have something that an antibiotic can cure. I'm starting to become a whiny sick person. WAAAAAHHH!!!

Sick Day

Yesterday I was sent home from work. For the first time ever. The jig was up when my coworker hog-tied me and stuck the thermometer in my ear. It showed a low-grade fever, even with all the Motrin in my blood. I'm sure I was running a fever at least all day yesterday and possibly longer. J picked me up from work early and we went to get K at daycare. There we got the report that he'd been coughing and not up to his normal energy levels. Last night I was banished to the living room so Joe could get a good night's sleep and hopefully not whatever I have. I had a less than restful night's sleep as I traded off between the "snuggie chair" and the sofa. All I could think about was J getting up and leaving for work with K, and me going to sleep in my own bed for a few hours. (I was supposed to work today so daycare was already lined up and I was fully ready to use it so I could rest) That plan went out the window the second I saw K, his bright red cheeks revealing his condition. The thermometer revealed 102.6... he gets to stay home, too. Great.

Both our temps have remained normal with the wonder drug. We spent the day watching movies and trying to keep things low key. He perked up a little after J got home from work (Daddy's have that effect on little boys, don't they?), and played harder than I would have liked this evening.

I tried to talk him into "sleeping in" in the morning, and he asked "What's that?"

My point exactly...

Easy Way

Yes, I'm taking the easy way out tonight. Largely because I feel like I've been hit by a truck.

Can't say much...

Seriously. This morning brought some random laryngeal virus that robbed me of most of my voice. It is accompanied by much discomfort with swallowing, talking and coughing (of which there is also quite a bit). All this equalled a really fun day at work. One thing I am thankful for...no fever. That means it's not the dreaded H1N1 (which I shouldn't get anyways since I got the vaccine). I know, things could be worse...

I used to think getting sick was bad when I just had to talk at work all day. Now that's coupled with talking (sometimes a little loudly) to a 2 year old at home before and after work. Luckily, my hubby performed much of the talking activities this evening. Needless to say, now that K's in bed I am absolutely done talking for the day.

I just have to say, this stuff has been my saving grace today. A coworker suggested it this morning (cause she had the same thing, along with a few other fellow employees...wonder where I got it?), so J brought me some at work (which may have earned him the hubby of the year award). After lunch my throat was so irritated, my ears were starting to get shooting pains. A few sips of this wonder tea, and my throat (and ear) pain were subsiding.

So now, my evening plans are to snuggle up with my herbal heat wrap around my neck, sip more wonder tea, pop a few nyquil and drift off to sleepy land.

Dog Tired

Tonight I am just dog tired. This afternoon I completed my second (and final!) "long" training run for my half marathon in 10 days. I ran 12 miles. Pushing a stroller. Containing a 35 pound kid. And some other stuff. Enough said?

Really, I can't complain since it's my own crazy idea. But, I am really glad I won't be doing that again for a while. The running is fine, it's the stroller pushing that tends to get me after about 7 miles.

At least my plan worked. Like a charm. My plan that I could pull off one long run a week, without it horribly disrupting our weekend life. My plan that I could have K nap in his stroller once a week while I ran my little heart out. Last week I pulled a (nearly) 10 miler which took me about 1:50 to run, and K slept for a good hour of that. Today my 12 miler took me 2:02 (I was paying closer attention to my clock), and he slept 1:30 of it! Yes, I know, a little shabby from our still very solid 2 hr napper, but truth be known, success of naps at home is dwindling by the day. So in my book, an hour and a half is better than nothing (which is what it might have been without the rhythmic motion of my trusty stroller).

I'm hoping to fit in another few 5-7 milers before race day and call it good. I'm thinking of another half in the Spring. Wonder what I can do if I actually train for it?

My Boy

I really hate to sound cliche, but I can't help myself, "My baby is growing up!".

Not sure when this all happened, but I'm thinking somewhere between the big boy bed and potty training. (Anyone interested in stats: we're currently looking at about 35lbs and 38 inches!)

I was sitting in his room with him tonight, watching him change his clothes...yes, all by himself... and it just dawned on me, he no longer looks anything like a baby! He is a little boy through and through. With this growth comes the ever increasing need for independence, and his constant reminders that, "I no need help". He is even starting to take himself to the bathroom, all on his own.

This is all just happening too fast...I'm not ready for it.

But then again, it is really nice to be able to have him help me with things. Getting things for us is one of his favorites, a close second is closing doors for us. He's learning to help unload the dishwasher and loves sorting the silverware (after the sharp objects are removed of course). He knows how to put the plastic dishes into the dish drainer to finish drying (heaven forbid I should dry a dish...that ranks close to ironing on my hideous chore list). During bathtime tonight, he spontaneously counted to 13, all by himself! I jumped in and helped him finish to 20.

And if that's not enough to prove it, just look at that picture! (He's even learning to keep his eyes open for pictures). He is pretty incredible! (The suit he put on about 30 seconds after getting out of bed that morning. I went in his room as soon as I heard him and found his jammies off, and Mr. Incredible half way on.)

Yahtzee!!

Tonight we were playing Yahtzee after dinner. Surprisingly, it is a game we've been enjoying playing as a family. K pretty much has no clue what's going on, but he likes to roll the dice for us and help us count the dots. Tonight, he rolled a Yahtzee! I haven't even done that in years! Next, we'll have him scratch our lottery tickets!

Heavy

Today J and I attended an adoption conference. It's really the first kind of thing like this we've attended, except for our required Parents In Progress (PIP) class we took early in our adoption process. It was filled with wonderful and useful information, ranging from attachment issues and what can happen in older children (more from a foster care point of view) to issues of racism and how our internationally adopted children will fit in culturally (or lack thereof). Needless to say, the whole day was filled with pretty heavy stuff. Besides gaining a wealth of information on things that may or may not be an issue for us in the future, it was great to meet some other adoptive parents in our community. We even met a couple who we've seen at the park near our house a few times. Their daughter is a little younger than K, and we had our own little session of a 2-year old support group. It's so reassuring to hear other kids are doing the same things...must be normal, right? We also learned about 2 local groups which focus on building the adoption community and hold social gatherings (for adults only and families), as well as educational opportunities for adoptive parents. (I will add their links to my sidebar for anyone interested)

What I came away with: we may need to tackle some things sooner rather than later, such as talking to K about race and the differences between us ( I know, seems a bit much for 2 and a half), and working hard to create open communication about adoption and how K fits into our family. We've always talked about how he was born in Korea and we met at the airport, and how his foster Mom took care of him in Korea, etc... But today, when I actually pointed out to him that he is adopted, just like the little girl in the book we were reading, he said, "I not dopted". Hmmm...guess we've got some talking to do.

As we were leaving the conference, I told J that if I had attended this conference 2 years ago, it would have sent me running the other way. But now, I am honored to be the mother of a Korean adoptee, and I think I just may be up to the challenge of raising him... we'll see.

life is fragile

Today a close family friend passed away. Their family nearly mirrored ours; their son about the same age as my brother, their daughter about the same age as me. Our parents were friends; we spent lots of time together. Now their Dad is in heaven.

This loss came as quite a shock. He had a major stroke a few years back, from which he never fully recovered his speech and independent mobility. Still the heart attack that took him from the earth this morning was a shock.

Our thoughts and prayers will be with the family in the days to come. He left a wife, two children and three grandchildren. Also, with my parents who lost one of their best friends.

It's a loss like this which brings into focus just how precious and fragile life is.

Another good reason to live every day like it's your last.

Nothing exciting...

Nothing much going on around here today. It was a work day for me which means nothing else happens. I did manage to sneak out of work an hour early and hit the pavement for a 4 miler before Joe came to pick me up. Came home, cooked dinner, bathed the kid, played with the kid, put the kid to bed...you know how it goes. Now I'm off to do a little bathroom cleaning, showering and laundry folding before The Office starts in an hour. Then the real party starts!

I'd go on, but I'm afraid you might not be able to handle all the excitement.

Just a normal day, but I wouldn't trade these days for anything!

(I am officially caught up!)

How I roll...

I guess I thrive on chaos. At least that's what my husband would say. I typically tend to overbook my schedule and end up racing wildly from activity to activity. A few weeks ago I decided I would run a half marathon just before Thanksgiving. I am also short staffed at work due to a nurse on medical leave. Not to mention trying to keep up the house and entertain a 2 year old. Now, I decide to do this blog-a-day thing...all at the same time.

Guess that's just how I roll...

NaBloPoMo

Is it too late to join the bandwagon?

Apparently, November is National Blog Posting Month. I found this out last night, and finally decided today to join the fun. (Guess I have a little catch up to do...oops) This means I will be making a blog post everyday this month...yes everyday. This also means you will probably be hearing about stuff you could really care less about.

So there you go, there's #1. Or should I say #3?

Zoo

(Catch up post #2)

Today K and I took a spontaneous trip to the zoo with my Dad. It turns out, Monday morning is a great time to visit the zoo. There was no crowds, and most of the animals were very frisky in the brisk morning air. Turns out, it's also little boys club around there. We were surrounded by little guys K's size, all running wildly from animal to animal. We had a great time. And for the first time, K asked to have his picture taken with something. The trip was so spontaneous that I didn't have my camera, but luckily these days, if you have a cell phone you probably have a camera!

Halloween!

(Catch up post #1)

K and Captain Jack, our "scary" pumpkin

K and Daddy at our church Harvest Party

Decorating cookies, he did it (pretty much) by himself!

We had lots of Halloween fun this year. So much fun that by the time the day arrived, we were pretty partied out! It started last Thursday with Kai's daycare party. It was so fun to see him and all his little friends in their costumes! Friday night we attended our church party. Kai was much more into the games (and subsequent candy distribution) than he was last year. He also visited both of our offices in costume and was greeted by many people offering candy. On *the big day* we pretty much just stayed at home, after his Saturday morning gymnastics class and BUNGEES!! We decorated cookies and watched the big football game on TV. No trick or treating for us, and we turned out our lights too. I know, we're such Halloween humbugs, aren't we? We really did consider handing out candy this year; we thought Kai would enjoy greeting people at the door. Then we discussed the logical side of it: a 2 year old with a large bowl of candy, a howl-happy dog... you know where this is going... We'll probably start in with the trick or treating next year. It just really freaks me out, especially this year when there's no telling if your candy is laced with H1N1. I know... we're horrible.

Almost forgot...

The only full body shot I got...