The wait continues

So, if anyone out there is keeping track, we are now at 11 weeks since our match, and 9 weeks waiting for US immigration approval. Do I need to say we're getting tired of waiting? (we won't even start on how long we've been waiting to have a child...) Everyday we're getting increasingly frustrated. For the last 18 months, I think I've been pretty good at just sitting back and letting everything work itself out, but I've decided it's time to "make waves". OK, don't think I'm going to do anything drastic, I've just decided it's time to start making more calls, more inquiries, and maybe having our name floating around the office will spark some interest in approving our request. I really don't know if this will do any good, but at least we'll feel like we're doing something. I realize that we really have NO control over this, and we're at the total mercy of our government-how scary is that??
As always, thanks for checking in- sorry I didn't have any good news to share...
RA

Perfectly said

This article was published today in the Boston Globe. It is about a family that was recently united through adoption. I know the Mom from the Korea family web forum, and have followed their journey since I joined the forum in May. Their home study went to Korea 4 days before ours, and they received their referral about 2 weeks before we did. A few weeks ago, their son came home. The writer of the article is a long time family friend, and very beautifully put into words the feelings behind stories like ours. It is so true and in fact, after reading it, I realized it could very easily be about us (with the exception, of course, that our miracle is not yet home). I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
A free fall than a soft landing
RA

Straight to the source

Today was a BAD day! Today was probably one of the hardest days I've had on our adoption journey. Nothing really happened to make it that way (well, that in itself is the problem), it was just a rough emotional day. I think the only other day I've felt this low was the day (in early Aug.) when our social worker told us it might be another few months before getting our match. So, like any woman having a bad day, I tried all the normal "pick-me-ups": working out, talking to people who would make me laugh, retail therapy, treating myself to my favorite treat (carmel apple with M&M's from Rockie Mountain Chocolate Factory), and out to lunch with my hubby.
I am just so frustrated that we are still waiting for our USCIS approval...it's been over 8 weeks now! They keep saying we should get it "any day". I feel so out of control, there is nothing I can do to make this happen any faster! Or is there? I've seen on the board several families who have requested appointments with CIS in attempt to get resolution to their case. So, that's what I did, I made an appointment with CIS. Unfortunately, it's not for a few more weeks, and I don't really know if it will do any good, but for now it's made me feel a little better and like I've "done something about it". So, now we are still praying like crazy that we'll get this approval soon, and have to cancel our CIS appointment, but at least we have that to fall back on.
For now, I am feeling better, and looking forward to a beautiful fall weekend! Enjoy!
RA

Double Digits

Today marks the start of our 10th week of waiting for Kai to come home. It's starting to get a little old...Don't get me wrong, I'm much happier being 10 weeks into our 3-5 month wait, than just 1 or 2 weeks. But, at 1 or 2 weeks, it was still so new and exciting. Now we're just tired of waiting and want our little boy home! We're still waiting for our USCIS approval, so until we have that we're pretty much in a holding pattern.
RA

Baby Shower!!

Last Sunday, my sister-in-law, Joanna, and Joe's Aunt Linda hosted a wonderful baby shower for me (at Grandma Sue's house)!! It was such a fun time, getting together with family and friends, to celebrate our new son. Once again, we feel tremendously blessed by the generosity that was shown towards us, and were quite overwhelmed by it all. Please enjoy the pictures below, and to all who were there: "Thank you so much for making it such a fun and memorable day!!" And a special thanks to Joanna and Aunt Linda for making it possible! Love you guys!!

How WE Remember...

As most of you are aware, our journey to a family has included many pregnancy losses. This past Monday, October 15, was International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. This is a subject that is not openly discussed in our society, but should be because it so deeply affects those who experience it. After losing my third pregnancy (which happened to be twins), I was having a discussion with a co-worker (who I did not know very well at the time), and felt compelled to share with her what I had gone through. By opening this door, I learned that she had also gone through infertility, and had a son from Korea. She reminded me that my miscarriages, and infertility, were part of "my story", and I should not feel ashamed to talk about it. By realizing this, and talking more about this "personal" subject, I have met (or rather, realized), that so many other people go through these same things, and I have gained so much support. If I had not been open to sharing my experiences, I may have never found out that my (now) close friend, Kim, was also going through this, and we have been able to lean on each other for support on multiple occasions during our journeys to our families. (By the way, Kim is now the proud mother of adorable boy/girl twins!) After that third miscarriage (which was not my last), I decided I needed to do something in remembrance of all our little angel babies. So, I started this cross stitch (only two and a half years ago), and when we were matched with Kai this summer, I made a goal of finishing it before he came home. Well, I did it! Take a look (just needs a frame now):

So, for any of you reading this that have gone through a pregnancy or infant loss, my heart and prayers are with you. I know it is one of the most painful losses to endure. God Bless You...
RA

NOW we're ready...

Since we got our match with Kai, whenever I talk to our social worker and mention how "unready" I feel, she always reminds me that all we really need is a car seat to bring him home from the airport. Now, thanks to Grandma Nancy and Grandpa Dave, we are ready! Even panda thinks it's pretty cozy ride! We got the seat while in Portland this past weekend for a baby shower (stay tuned for details from that wonderful event)!



On another note, after a pretty good Monday at work, we came home to a not so good situation. Three phrases describe it all...Willie...our bathroom...big mess. Not exactly what I was expecting. After dealing with that, I was thrilled to find a mailbox (and porch) full of surprises! (Sorry, no new pictures). I received a truly thoughtful birthday gift from one of my dearest friends, Kim (see Crocheron family blog); a jar of 100 wishes for Kai (I made it through about 10 before I was bawling), and a first year (at home) scrap booking calendar- can't wait to get started on that one!! We also received a shower gift from Uncle Josh and Aunt Candy, and my order from Cafe Press:


It was already dark outside, so I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow to put it on my car. It's beginning to look like a real "mom-mobile"!
RA

Happy 8 months, Kai!!

Today our sweet little Kai is 8 months old! I was really hoping to come home from work to find a new picture as our gift, but alas, it did not happen. Well, I guess there's always tomorrow. I am starting to fear I may not recognize him when we meet. (Luckily, there will be someone to connect us!) How we wish he was home with us...

Baby steps

We're still waiting *patiently* for our USCIS approval. (Patiently is used very loosely here)
We did get a few tidbits of info today, and are hoping and praying this will be coming very soon! Stay tuned for further updates!!

The BIG 3-0!

Yesterday I did it- I became a full-fledged member of the "30's Club". It wasn't nearly as dreadful as I was expecting, and in fact I am now at peace with the whole thing. In talking with people at work yesterday, I realized that my 20's were not all that great- except, of course, for the wonderful, life changing events of becoming a wife and an aunt; and all the wonderful friends I made. My 20's were otherwise filled with heartbreak and questions, as we were struggling to start our family. So, now I'm ready for my third decade, and (almost) ready for all the changes, challenges, and amazement that it will bring! Here are some pictures of my birthday gathering with our family this past weekend. Hope you enjoy!

Dinner at Chang's- Yumm-o!

That's Grandma Anne- can you believe she's 95??

Bea's mesmerized by the fire- there were really 30 candles on it!!

Joe had me made into a bobble head!!

Now the whole world can know!

Kai has 2 teeth!!

You might be wondering how I know this- we got an updated well baby report (WBR) today!! We are so excited to get this update that we've been waiting sooo patiently for. After spending a fun weekend away in Portland, with lots of fun activities and family time, the mailman brought us this blessed gift! I'm sure he had no idea how much happiness this little envelope would bring us. OK, I know you're all anxious to hear the details, so without further ado... (his visit was done in early Sept., so he was nearly 7 months at the time) He weighed almost 21 lbs, and was almost 28 inches long. Yep, I better keep lifting those weights!! He was not yet sitting on his own, but has mastered creeping on the floor. And of course, has two bottom teeth!! The down side- no new picture, but we are thankful to have gotten the update on his growth and development. Also, it is much needed affirmation that he really is ours, and they are working to get him home to us.


As I mentioned, we were away for the weekend, it was such a fun time. I took Ryan, Bea and Peter (Kai's cousins), with their Mom's (Joanna) help, to Build-a-Bear. The three of them, together, made a bear for Kai. It was so sweet how they each got to put a heart in (yes- he has 3 hearts), after they had kissed it. We also ran into one of my friends from middle/high school, so that was a nice unexpected surprise. Saturday I had the pleasure of meeting another expecting (adoptive) Mom from the Holt board and we had a great time exchanging stories and having coffee- hoping to have many more get togethers with them (our sons were born 11 days apart!).
Then, Saturday night was my birthday party (I'm desperately hanging on to my last few days of my 20's). And Sunday, I took Bea to see Pollyanna, the play. It was our first auntie/niece outing and we both had a great time.

As always, thanks for checking in on us. Here's to more good news this week!!

EP!!!!

Today we received the wonderful news that Kai has his EP (emigration permit)!! This does not mean his travel is imminent, however, it is one BIG step towards getting him home. The last few weeks have been really difficult for us, we've anxiously been awaiting an updated well baby report, and checking the mail box daily for our I-600 approval (USCIS approval). So earlier today, in a desperate attempt for ANY information, I broke down and called our social worker. She called back saying she was just about to call us with this great news! (Must have been my mother's intuition kicking in) It was really something I was not expecting to hear, and so, so happy we can now check this off our list. Now we're just waiting on OUR government...

No girls allowed!

Kai's room is finally starting to take shape and look like a boy's room. Joe was a little concerned when we painted it pale yellow and white (stripes) how we were going to "boy it up", if we got matched with a boy. See for yourself, I think we've done a pretty good job. (FYI- the dresser and toy chest are a darker blue, but they appear black in some of the pictures.) We do need a little more decor on the walls, but here's what it looks like for now.

Home Sweet Home

Books desperately in need of a bookshelf!


View coming through the door

View through Kai's eyes

(Any excuse to show off my adorable puppy!) By the way, Willie already seems to be embracing his role as a big brother. We have found him a few times lying beside the crib, and this weekend, while we were working in there, he was lying under it! He's gonna be a good brother!

HEY EUGENE!!!

Last night we had the pleasure of enjoying an evening of music by Pink Martini. It was especially fun as they are on tour for their newest album, "Hey Eugene". Joe's parents came from Portland to attend the concert with us. If you've ever heard Pink Martini, you are no doubt a fan. It took us all of one song to fall in love with them (of course it helped that it was their title track from this album-Hey Eugene). A little over a year ago, we were flipping through TV channels, and came upon an OPB special they were doing. It just so happened that this was the exact moment they were talking about and performing "Hey Eugene" (see video clip below). Needless to say, when they performed this song last night, the crowd went wild! (By the way, we do realize this song is not about our city.) Their style is indescribable, but my best description would be jazz/latin/classical. Their lead singer is fluent in several languages, and most songs are sung in French, Spanish, Japanese or English. This was our second time seeing them perform live, and it never ceases to amaze me that they can totally captivate an audience, even when we have no idea what the song is about. They do, however, do a very good job of telling us the "plot" of songs they sing in other languages. They truly do have creativity and originality that is hard to find these days. I've found a couple of clips and posted them in below- hope you have a few minutes to watch!

Bonding & Attachment

I'm happy to report that we've come to the point in our adoption journey to begin thinking about bonding and attachment. From what I've learned, it's not much different than bonding with a biological child, except for the obvious fact that it's not happening at birth (at least not for us). Because of this, some things we do, or requests we have, may seem strange. For this reason, I wanted to share some information with our family and friends, to help you all understand the differences and know why we're doing what we're doing. I have been searching the internet for helpful resources, and stumbled across this page from Adoptive Parents magazine. I will also attach the link on our side bar for easy access in the future. (In case you're wondering, this does not mean we have "news")

Singing the blues...

So, we've got a major case of the "travel call blues" goin' on here. I am absolutely dying for an update on Kai! I can't believe that we've heard nothing since our referral. Holt always says "No news is good news", meaning if he were sick or something we would know immediately, so at least I have that reassurance. But still, even an updated well baby check or something!! I am really hoping we'll at least get a new picture after he gets our package (which should be sometime this week). Those who know me, know I try not to be the jealous type, but a few minutes ago on the Holt board I was reading a post about a family that received an update today, and it nearly brought me to tears! This poem was posted on the Holt board yesterday by another waiting Mom. I can identify with every single line...perhaps it can give some insight into how I'm feeling.

Oh Lord, all we need is our travel call,
This process has been such a long haul!

Our sweet little one is growing and changing,
While we have been at home rearranging.

We pray everyday that he is getting the best care,
While we search the internet for the cheapest air fare.

At this point I hope I recognize his sweet precious face,
I am sure that getting to the airport will be quite the race.

Please Korea call us this week with good news,
Otherwise this mom will continue to sing the blues.

I know, it's kinda silly, but so stinkin' true!
Well, thanks for letting me vent a little...hoping and praying for some good news this week!
RA

Then & Now

This month we come upon the 5 year anniversary of adopting Willie into our family. He has always been a Daddy's boy, from nearly the first moment of meeting us. (Although, he does know who to run to for protection...that would be me) I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. The first one is from (I'm pretty sure) Willie's first night at our house. The second one was just a couple days ago. Not much has changed, just the size of the dog!!
RA

7 months ago...4 weeks ago...

Seven months ago our lives were unknowingly changed forever when your sweet little boy was born, far away in South Korea. Four weeks ago our lives were knowingly changed forever when we were matched with him. I have to say, although all this waiting is thoroughly the pits, the last 4 weeks have gone by surprisingly fast! And, as I look at the calendar, and try to comprehend all that still needs to occur until we're ready for him, I think the next 6 weeks or so will fly by as well! I'm certain that we will come to a point, when all the preparations have been made, that time will start crawling by at a snail's pace. But, for now we're keeping quite busy, and it's flyin' by! Two praises for today: the first, a big one- I might have someone at work to cover my maternity leave! It's not totally official, but it's lookin' pretty darn good. The second (not quite so big), is that Kai's package is in the mail, and was about $15 less to send than I anticipated! Hopefully this means what started out as a crazy week, will end on a very good note! Oh, and only 10 days until Pink Martini!!

Care package

The box is sealed, the letter is translated, and tomorrow, Kai's care package will be on it's way to Korea!! We tried to keep it small, for customs it needs to be under a certain $ value or else Holt Korea or the foster family could have to pay (don't want that!!); but it certainly was hard. I just kept telling myself, "He will be home soon, then we can lavish him with gifts". I can already tell he's going to be one spoiled little boy! Gifts for Kai include a couple outfits, some socks (he didn't have any on in his referral photo, I want to be sure his little feet are warm), a blanket that we've slept with (I thought the airplane one was just perfect), and a "baby proof" photo album with pictures of us in it. Gifts for the foster Mom are a travel size lotion of my favorite scent, and a lip gloss. We also included a pocket calendar of OR, and some note cards that I made from photos we've taken. Oh, and we're sending a disposable camera in hopes it will be returned full of photos of Kai in Korea. We're not "technically" supposed to be sending him anything, so hopefully we won't get in trouble. How can we NOT send gifts to our son? We may never know whether or not he actually receives it, but just sending it makes it all seem more real. The ultimate pay-off would be updated pictures of him with our package!!
RA

Remembering Grandma Ruth

Last Sunday, Sept. 2, my family endured a great loss when my dear Grandma Ruth went to be with the Lord. She had been in a coma for a few days, and went peacefully in her sleep. On her last day on earth, my mom, dad, brother and I spent nearly the whole day by her bedside, along with visitations from Grandpa, my uncle and his family, and a few of her dearest friends. Although we were told she was totally unresponsive, we felt she knew we were there, and we all took comfort in that.
Yesterday there was a memorial service in her honor. It was a very nice service, with all of our family, and her life-long friends present.
I will always remember all the fun times Dan and I spent with Grandma and Grandpa while we were growing up. From simple over-nights at their house, to big holiday dinners, to many camping trips in their RV. Now that I am grown, I see how regular interaction with grandparents is not the norm in many families, but it always has been in ours. A tradition that I intend to pass along to the next generation.
So please, keep our family in your prayers over the coming months as we grieve our loss.
Thanks for checking in-
RA