Journey of a Mother

I am K's third mother. His first mother, of course, his birth mother. His second mother, his foster mother. His third mother, Me, his FOREVER mother. His other two mothers were most definitely in my thoughts and prayers on this Day for Mother's.

Mother's Day was not always a happy day for me. In fact, for many years it was one of the worst days of the year. I dreaded it, and I grieved every year it came around and I still had no child in my arms. The feelings I felt were some of the loneliest in the world; not only did I not have my child in my arms, but few people knew or realized my suffering and I knew only a few other people who were going through the same things. It's such a lonely road, made even more so by the fact that even our husbands don't know what we're really going through, although it pains them just as much.

This weekend I had a great time celebrating my motherhood with our families. As much as I felt it was a celebration of my motherhood, I also felt it was a celebration of my CHILD, who we truly feel is our special gift from God. Today, as everyday, I cherished the hugs and kisses from my little boy. It still amazes me that even after all this time, I still get teary eyed with his whole body hugs and "I love you Mommy".  I hope I never lose that feeling.