Heavy

Today J and I attended an adoption conference. It's really the first kind of thing like this we've attended, except for our required Parents In Progress (PIP) class we took early in our adoption process. It was filled with wonderful and useful information, ranging from attachment issues and what can happen in older children (more from a foster care point of view) to issues of racism and how our internationally adopted children will fit in culturally (or lack thereof). Needless to say, the whole day was filled with pretty heavy stuff. Besides gaining a wealth of information on things that may or may not be an issue for us in the future, it was great to meet some other adoptive parents in our community. We even met a couple who we've seen at the park near our house a few times. Their daughter is a little younger than K, and we had our own little session of a 2-year old support group. It's so reassuring to hear other kids are doing the same things...must be normal, right? We also learned about 2 local groups which focus on building the adoption community and hold social gatherings (for adults only and families), as well as educational opportunities for adoptive parents. (I will add their links to my sidebar for anyone interested)

What I came away with: we may need to tackle some things sooner rather than later, such as talking to K about race and the differences between us ( I know, seems a bit much for 2 and a half), and working hard to create open communication about adoption and how K fits into our family. We've always talked about how he was born in Korea and we met at the airport, and how his foster Mom took care of him in Korea, etc... But today, when I actually pointed out to him that he is adopted, just like the little girl in the book we were reading, he said, "I not dopted". Hmmm...guess we've got some talking to do.

As we were leaving the conference, I told J that if I had attended this conference 2 years ago, it would have sent me running the other way. But now, I am honored to be the mother of a Korean adoptee, and I think I just may be up to the challenge of raising him... we'll see.