Happy Birthday, Kai!!

One year ago today, our precious little boy was born in a town just outside Seoul, South Korea. I don't remember exactly what we were doing that day, but I'm pretty sure it didn't even dawn on us that our son could be entering the world. I do remember as we passed through Feb. 2007, I often hoped and prayed that our child had been born, but I had no way of knowing for sure. It amazes me that on that day, our lives changed forever, and we had didn't even know it!

As you can imagine, today is a bittersweet day for us, as I'm sure it will always be. We are overjoyed at this miraculous gift that God has given us, but can't help of thinking all that he left behind in Korea. Today I have been thinking about his three families. First, his birthmother, praying that she would have peace in her heart that the baby she relinquished is now part of a loving, forever family. Also in my thoughts is his foster mother, who cared for him with a mother's love from the time he was 2 weeks old, until he was ready to travel to us when he was 10 months old. I know he was deeply loved by her and her family. And lastly, our family, his forever family. We feel so blessed that our families have been so supportive of our adoption, and have welcomed Kai into our family as one of their own. 

Our family's love for our son was evident this past Sunday, as they joined in a celebration of his birthday. It was such a special day for us, one we will always remember; at church he was dedicated to the Lord, then after church we had his First Birthday and Dol (or Tol) party at our house. (Click here for more info about the Korean Dol) During his toljabee, he selected the jujube (not the candy, it was supposed to be a Korean dried date, but I couldn't find one, so we used a mini-bell pepper, since it was about the same shape and size), and the pencil. The jujube signifies that he will have many descendants, and the pencil means he will be a scholar. As you can see, he is quite handsome in the beautiful hanbok that his foster mother sent with him. And of course, he loved trying his first piece of cake!! 

Please enjoy the slideshow that Joe made for him!

Happy Birthday, Kai-Kai!! Mommy and Daddy love you lots!!

Kai's 1st Year

Is he talking to me??

Over the past few days, I've been starting to sense that when Kai says "Omma" (reminder: that's "Mom" in Korean), he's saying it to me. He's been saying it since he came home, and at first I knew he was calling for his foster Mom when he said it.  He's always said (or screamed) it when he was upset or said it in a non-specific, babbling type fashion.

It all started on Tuesday night, we were having a little snack of some chex mix. I was holding him at the kitchen counter and we were both munching away. I told him "All done" and set him down in front of me. Then, I proceeded to take one last bite. He looked up at me, straight in the eyes, and said (very deliberately) "OM-MA!" As if to say..."Hey, Mom, I want more, too!!" Since then, there have been several times where he has seemed to call me Omma very directly and deliberately.  

It feels great that he is starting to recognize that I am his Mom, but to me, his "Omma" will always be his foster Mom. Joe and I have never referred to ourselves as "Omma" or "Appa" ("Dad" in Korean), we've always been Mommy and Daddy. 

We've identified another Korean word he's been saying. We mentioned in a letter to his foster Mom that he was saying "dada". She wrote back and told us that in Korea, he would say "daetta" which in Korean means "enough, or done"... as in "that's enough of that!" I've been paying close attention to when he says it, and I do think he's saying the Korean word. He always says it when he is going through something he doesn't like: diaper change, getting into the car seat, etc. How lucky are we that we know what his Korean words mean??

This little boy never ceases to amaze me! 

And, since no post would be complete without a picture: here's a nice one of him trying to grab the camera from me!

See for Yourself!!

Here's our little walker in action!! He actually started from the chair that is in the background, but it took a moment to get the camera started. (Sorry about the grainy quality, it was taken from our digital camera, not a video camera)

Random Acts of Silliness

Now that Kai has been home for almost 6 weeks, we are really starting to see his personality shine. We've learned that we have one very silly little boy on our hands. Our days are now filled with little acts of silliness and random outbursts of laughter. Of course, it is hard to capture these moments, since we can't just watch life through the view-finder of our camera. Luckily, we're starting to identify when we see something silly starting, and know his "signs" of being in a silly mood. Over the past week or so, we've been able to catch a little silliness in pictures. 

Here is his first experience with spaghetti noodles. I'm not sure how many actually made it "down the hatch", but it sure was entertaining!

He's been very "into" his diaper bag lately (no pun intended!), on this day, he was attempting to carry it, but the strap is too long, and he couldn't get it off the ground. It was very funny watching him try to figure it out!

Empty box= Instant Fun

Need I say more?

This is what I found a few mornings last week when I got him up.

Kai-standing in his crib-a dog in each hand

What do you mean it's not bath time?

Since our little guy is now highly mobile, if we leave the bathroom door open, we are likely to see this sight at any time throughout the day. He loves his bath so much, he just can't wait for bath time!

Special Delivery

This past weekend, Kai got a huge surprise in the mail! A birthday present from his foster mom!! We thought about waiting until his birthday to open it, but we were all too excited and couldn't wait to see what was inside. We are so happy that we've been able to have some contact with her, and feel so blessed that she gave Kai such a great start to his life! When he came home, she sent a whole bunch of photos and videos from his time with her, and from those (and her letters we've gotten since) we can tell how very much she (and her family) loves him. The gift she sent was an adorable pair of boots, and a small army of toy cars! Kai loves it all! We are so thankful for all she has done and is doing for him!!

"Is this for me??"

This shoe lover approves!!

Inspection time

Waving the cars wildly in excitement!!

SNOW DAY!!!

Early this morning we woke up to a thin blanket of snow...

it steadily continued through the morning, and at 11 am we had:

Yes, 5 inches!! For anyone who knows about Oregon climate, you know this is highly unusual for those of us that live "on the valley floor".  Willie enjoyed himself, prancing and running all over the backyard, but Kai was not quite sure about this cold white stuff coming from the sky. I think this is my favorite picture of the day! It was clearly meant to be taken of Kai, but you can see Willie on the side, catching a snowball in his mouth!! 

Crazy puppy!!

He stood in it by himself for a bit...

then decided, "There must be an easier way"!

They say there's more on the way tonight and tomorrow, in fact many schools have already cancelled classes tomorrow. I'm so happy I don't have to worry about getting to work!!

Very cold, clear and sunny...

This has been our forecast all week. It makes for mixed emotions when it comes to outdoor activities.  A few days ago, we decided to brave the elements and get out for a walk. Mommy, baby, and puppy all needed some fresh air and exercise! So, we bundled up and hit the road. For Kai, "bundled" meant: three layers on top (including his red "puffy" coat), two layers on bottom, wool socks, chicken shoes, a cute fuzzy blue hat, and a cozy blanket over his lap! Poor thing, he could barely move! He was not too happy about me bundling him up, then strapping him down in the stroller. But, after we got moving, he was quite happy to be in the brisk air and I could see his arms waving in excitement the whole time. As was my goal, by the time he was comfy in his stroller, not much of him was visible... see for yourself. (The hat is actually a little big, so for most of our walk, it was down almost covering his eyes, all you could see was his cute little nose!)

By the time we got home, my fingers and toes were well on their way to numb,but by-golley, my baby was warm! Even his little nose!

See how happy his walk made him??

Now today, the clouds are rolling in and the temperature is rising just a bit...perfect for...dare I say it...SNOW!! Yep, it's in our forecast for tonight! Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to post snow pictures!!

Adoption Buddies!!

Some of you might remember back in early Dec., when I mentioned about our new friends traveling to Korea to get their son, who is only about 10 days older than Kai. Well, we finally got the boys together this weekend for their first play date! It was so fun, all the kids had a blast (our friends also have an older son from China)! Grandma and Grandpa C were so nice to loan us their house for the meeting.  It was so great to share our stories, and "compare notes", and hear her little guy saying the same Korean words Kai does! 

Here are a few pictures of our time together. We hope to get these guys together often, so they can be friends as they grow up!

Checking each other out!

And off he goes!! 

(Notice Kai watching in the background, I love it!)

New friends playing together.

A Day at the Beach

Today we took Kai for his first trip to the Oregon coast! Now, some of you might be thinking...the coast??...in January?? We are very lucky here in Oregon that our coast maintains a very moderate climate all year long, making it a great get-a-way just about all the time. Just one of the wonderful things about living in the NW!! Anyway, we enjoyed a beautifully sunny day, with only a slight breeze, although it wasa bit chilly at around 50 degrees. Luckily, with the lack of wind and a coat, it was just right! We drove over, had a nice lunch, then hit the beach for some walking. Kai enjoyed a ride on my back, and we hit the jackpot on whole sand dollars! Neither of us had ever seen so many in our lives! After walking for a while, we let Kai down to explore the sand. At first he wasn't so sure about it, then he dove right in and start digging like crazy! Doing the most natural thing to do in the sand- burying your feet! All in all, it was a fun day, and a great way to spend one of our last days together before Joe goes back to work next week.

Also, last weekend, Kai took his first steps!! Grandma Nancy and Grandpa Dave were down for a visit, so they got to witness this milestone! He had about 3 times where he took 3-4 steps! We haven't seen that feat repeated yet, but he's been doing lots of 1 or 2 step jobs! We imagine before too long, he'll be running all over the place!

And now, of course, some pictures from our day at the coast!

Lunch by the River

Cozy ride!!

Daddy and Kai

What is this stuff???

Oh, so this is what you do with it!! FUN!!!

Wonders of the Bathroom

Kai is discovering all the glorious, fun things that can be found in the bathroom. As if taking a bath was not fun enough, he has also learned that there is a big bowl-like thing that has a lid that goes up and down, and if you push on a special lever it makes a big fun sound! He has also discovered the fun roll of soft paper that is so easy for him to unroll and is kept right within his reach (well...not any more!).  Our bathroom officially looks like that of a toddler. We are seconds away from installing the toilet lock, our toilet paper roll now lives on the counter, and our tub is full of bath toys- and we love it!! 

Since no child's life would be complete without the ever-embarassing "bath tub" shots, here are a few we caught the other night during bath time. 

Home 2 weeks!

It's hard to believe that Kai has been home with us for 2 weeks now! He has been such a trooper, and such a brave boy. He is doing very well adjusting to life as an American.  He is having less and less grieving episodes, but still cries for "Om-ma" when he is upset, hungry or in pain (from teething :-( ).  He has been pretty much sleeping through the night, and if he wakes it's usually just once for a bottle then back to sleep. We are seeing lots of smiles and hearing lots of giggles, and he loves playing with Willie. He's started smiling in response to seeing us and others.  He loves bath time! Our first few bathing attempts were horrible, but after just letting him play in the tub once or twice, he is now a huge fan; he gets so excited with splashing all around and kicking his feet all over. Tonight, he heard me getting his bath ready, and he came into the bathroom, ready to jump right in!! He is such a joy, and he loves to make people laugh. He is definitely learning English, and is definitely learning his American name. He is having more and longer periods of standing without support, and goes all over the place crawling. We're sure he'll be taking his first steps before too long. As you can tell, we're quite smitten with our little miracle, and I could go on all night. But, I won't bore you with all the gorey details. Let me just share this one picture. I took it a few nights ago. I was bound and determined to catch his toothy grin on camera (something we've not been able to accomplish yet), and we were in his room just playing around. Every time I said "I love you", he would get this huge smile on his face, so I grabbed the camera, thinking I could get my shot. Well, he decided he was done playing that game, when suddenly, Daddy came down the hall and walked into his room. Luckily, my camera was ready, and I got the shot I've been looking for! 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

As most of you know, or can probably imagine, our Christmas celebrations this year were delayed. This was, of course, mostly due to Kai's arrival the day AFTER Christmas, and also that he had a new cousin due to be born a few days after Christmas pretty much put everything up in the air for a while. As of this past weekend, Kai has celebrated Christmas with both sides of his new family. He really enjoyed getting to spend some time with his new grandparents, aunts, uncle, and cousins! We were so happy that Christmas was delayed so that Kai, and his new cousin (Hayleigh Anna: born 12/30), could be there. Hope you enjoy the pictures!!

 Christmas Slideshow

Why go around it?

When you can just go through it?

A few nights ago, Kai discovered that if he wanted to get around the coffee table, he didn't have to go all the way around it, he can just go through the bottom of it!! Silly boy!

Life with Kai

Is simply wonderful! We are loving parenthood, and so in love with our sweet little guy. Well, not so little, at his first Dr. appointment yesterday he weighed in at 22 lbs 5 oz, and was 30 inches long! No wonder our bodies are aching. It is hard to believe he’s only been home one week. He has come so far so quickly. The first few days were really hard, he was grieving pretty hard, and would have intense episodes about 2-3 times a day. During a grieving episode, he cries for his Om-ma (his foster mom), screams and jerks his body around, and is inconsolable. We just have to hold him through it, until he will eventually fall asleep. We’ve seen a big change in the last few days. He’s started coming to us before he starts grieving, and asks us to pick him up. Yes, he actually asks. He can say the Korean word for “carry me”, which is “abuba”. When he says this we know he’s getting sad, and we put him in the carrier and carry him until he feels better. He is still grieving, but he is beginning to let us comfort him, and we are able to help him through it much better. We’ve also gotten a lot more smiles and giggles. And last night, we got sleep!! He slept in his crib all night long! We thought it was pretty ironic that on his loudest night home so far (with fireworks for New Year’s), he slept the best. Go figure! We’ve taken him out for a few outings, and he loves being out and seeing everything.
He and Willie became fast friends. From their first meeting, Kai has never shown any fear of him, and Willie is so gentle. In fact, one of the first smiles we got from Kai was when he met Willie! Kai has been chasing Willie around the house, and Willie has been right by Kai’s side while he’s in his high chair!
We are loving getting to know him, and are seeing his personality come out. He is such a snuggle bug, and quite the ham. We noticed while we were out with him that he’s also a big flirt. He loves music and loves to dance. He is so proud of himself while he’s cruising around the furniture.
I’ll leave with a few pictures from our first days together. Hope you all have a safe and Happy New Year!!

First walk with Daddy

Kai with his Pooh car from Grandma and Grandpa M.

Mommy's Little Snuggle Bug

Best Buds

Forever a Family!!!

Our sweet boy is finally in our arms! We had a wonderful family day, although it was a really long day for all of us. Our little trooper was in transit for over 24 hours when we finally reached PDX in the wee hours of 12/27! He endured 2 flight delays; his flight leaving Seoul was 4 hours delayed, and we were 4 hours delayed leaving SFO. He was such a good boy, took everything in stride, and *luckily* waited until we got to Grandma and Grandpa's in Portland before having his first major grieving episode. We were very thankful that we got to hang out in SFO most the day after he was placed in our arms, it was nice to have "get to know you" time before setting off on another flight. We even got to hang out with 2 of the other babies from his flight. When we finally arrived at PDX, we were greeted by all 4 grandparents, Uncle Dan, Aunt Joanna and the cousins, and Great-grandma Tee. We were surprised and grateful that they all waited and waited as our flight kept getting further delayed, until we finally arrived at nearly 1AM!

Hope you enjoy the slideshow of our family day!

Kai's Family Day 

Merry Christmas!!!

In just a few short hours, our sweet little boy will be waking up to his first Christmas morning. We, of course, wish he could be waking up in our house, but he will be in our arms in less than 48 hours. Today is a day of mixed emotions; we are so excited that our boy is so close to being home, but also our hearts are breaking for all the challenges he will be going through over the next few days. Please keep us in your holiday prayers; safe travels for all of us, continued health for Kai, and peace in his heart about the changes he's going through.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!!!

 We hope you have a safe and joyous holiday!!

More bonding talk

We have all been waiting a long time to hold and see our baby boy. We have already bonded with him through his photos and have grown to love him. It is hard for us to believe we are still strangers to him! While we are preparing a place for him in our home and hearts, he has not even thought of leaving where he is. He will be experiencing the loss of everything he has ever known in just a few days. A few months ago I wrote a post about bonding and attachment in adoption. Now, with Kai’s arrival approaching, I wanted to bring it to your attention again. We are thrilled that everyone is so excited to welcome our new son, however, we want to make our intentions and expectations clear from the start; we do not want there to be confusion, misunderstandings, or hurt feelings after his arrival. We have done a lot of reading about ways to make healthy attachments with adopted children, and many things we will do might seem odd or inappropriate, but we feel they are important to Kai’s adjustment with us.
As hard as it is to say, please awe at him from our arms for a while! He needs to recognize us as mom and dad before he is ready to be passed around. This is a small window of time we have to develop an appropriate bond. He will be a much happier baby if we give him time to grieve his loses and then form a forever bond. There is no set length of time for this, but we will be able to tell by his reactions whether or not he is ready to be held by others. We still invite you to touch him, hug him, kiss him, talk to him, and play with him. But, for a while, we need to be the only ones to feed, diaper, bathe, cuddle...you get the picture. He will be grieving the loss of his foster family, this usually lasts for at least a few weeks, but grieving episodes could occur for months after his arrival. Grieving episodes are intensified by over stimulation, so we need to keep his world quiet and small for his first weeks with us.
We have been so blessed by this gift. We want to make sure we are doing everything we can for Kai to feel the security his birth-mother wanted for him. We know many of you have bonded with him just as we have! So many of you have prayed daily for him and we do not underestimate the bond or love you feel for him. We hope you understand our need for this special time with our baby boy. If you have any questions, please call or email.

KAI IS COMING HOME!!!!

Some call it Boxing Day, some call it Kwanza, some call it "recovery" day, but from this year forward, we will call it FAMILY DAY!! Our precious little boy will be in our arms forever the DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS!!! We are absolutely thrilled beyond words, so relieved this journey is almost over, and so excited to start our life as a family. We will be leaving on Christmas Day, and will meet him in San Francisco early Wednesday morning! By that evening, we will all be home together. We are so thankful to all our friends and family who have been so supportive during this process; we will never be able to tell you or repay you for all your positive thoughts and prayers. We're almost there!!
RA

Conquering the Mountain

OK, so not really a "mountain", but it is a really big hill! Those of you that had the pleasure of visiting us at our previous house, the one on "the hill", know what I'm talking about. During the 3 years that we lived in that house, I became "one" with the hill. It was my biggest nemesis, and I took pleasure in conquering it on a nearly weekly basis. I overtook it mostly by foot (and a few times by bike while I was training for a duathalon), always with an overwhelming sense of accomplishment at the finish. The route is an almost 4 mile loop, half of which is straight up, the other half is straight down. This probably sounds crazy to most of you, but my running buddies can understand, that hill really helped me through some tough times; always leaving me with a clearer mind and an incredible feat achieved. After the rough time we had this week, waiting for the phone call that never came, I was left with feelings of anger, frustration and confusion. What better way to vent myself than by visiting my old friend, "the hill"? I'm not one to toot my own horn, but I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself. We moved from that house almost a year and a half ago (we now live in the flat lands- not a hill in sight), and I have had only a few hill workouts since, mostly during my marathon training last winter. Since recovering from my stress-fracture, I have done 1 or 2. What I'm trying to say, is that even with very little hill experience lately, I sailed up that thing, in about the same amount of time that it took me when we lived up there, not having to stop or walk at all! Today I clocked 42 minutes, for a very hilly, 4 mile run! More importantly, I was able to vent my frustrations, and now feel able to enjoy what very easily could be our last weekend before parenthood! We're going to try to get everything for Christmas finished up, and have a few holiday events to attend. I hope to return next week with some good news for all of you!!
RA

A lesson in patience

If you're reading this, and it's the most recent post in the blog...relax, you haven't missed "it". The "it" I'm referring to is our long awaited travel call. Here we are, over a week "post VISA", and still no word about our sweet little boy. This week has absolutely been the longest week of my life! Every second just ticks by at a snail's pace as we wait, wait, wait for the phone to ring. I feel like through this whole process I've been pretty patient. Waiting over 10 months for a match, waiting over 11 weeks for immigration clearance...I am starting to lose patience! Really, in terms of what we've gone through, waiting 1-2 weeks for travel notification should not really be a big deal. But, it SOOO is! Maybe it's because we're soo close, maybe it's because everyday is closer to Christmas...I don't know, but this is all really starting to get to me! I am so ready to be done with this, and have our little guy home to start our life as a family.
At least we've been in communication with our agency, and they assure us the Korean agency is "working on it". Not really what I wanted to hear, but much better than a response like, "VISA, what VISA??". They also said that travel is not being delayed due to Kai being ill, so that's good. We just have to pray it stays that way! (They won't let him travel if he gets sick at all, even a cold)
I am starting to lose hope that he'll be home for Christmas. If we don't hear anything this week, he probably won't be.
This is definitely not easy to go through...it's been said many times on my web forum..."Adoption is not for wimps." So true.
Also- happy 10 months to Kai today! We hope you're home very, very soon!!!
RA