Forever a Family!!!

Our sweet boy is finally in our arms! We had a wonderful family day, although it was a really long day for all of us. Our little trooper was in transit for over 24 hours when we finally reached PDX in the wee hours of 12/27! He endured 2 flight delays; his flight leaving Seoul was 4 hours delayed, and we were 4 hours delayed leaving SFO. He was such a good boy, took everything in stride, and *luckily* waited until we got to Grandma and Grandpa's in Portland before having his first major grieving episode. We were very thankful that we got to hang out in SFO most the day after he was placed in our arms, it was nice to have "get to know you" time before setting off on another flight. We even got to hang out with 2 of the other babies from his flight. When we finally arrived at PDX, we were greeted by all 4 grandparents, Uncle Dan, Aunt Joanna and the cousins, and Great-grandma Tee. We were surprised and grateful that they all waited and waited as our flight kept getting further delayed, until we finally arrived at nearly 1AM!

Hope you enjoy the slideshow of our family day!

Kai's Family Day 

Merry Christmas!!!

In just a few short hours, our sweet little boy will be waking up to his first Christmas morning. We, of course, wish he could be waking up in our house, but he will be in our arms in less than 48 hours. Today is a day of mixed emotions; we are so excited that our boy is so close to being home, but also our hearts are breaking for all the challenges he will be going through over the next few days. Please keep us in your holiday prayers; safe travels for all of us, continued health for Kai, and peace in his heart about the changes he's going through.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!!!

 We hope you have a safe and joyous holiday!!

More bonding talk

We have all been waiting a long time to hold and see our baby boy. We have already bonded with him through his photos and have grown to love him. It is hard for us to believe we are still strangers to him! While we are preparing a place for him in our home and hearts, he has not even thought of leaving where he is. He will be experiencing the loss of everything he has ever known in just a few days. A few months ago I wrote a post about bonding and attachment in adoption. Now, with Kai’s arrival approaching, I wanted to bring it to your attention again. We are thrilled that everyone is so excited to welcome our new son, however, we want to make our intentions and expectations clear from the start; we do not want there to be confusion, misunderstandings, or hurt feelings after his arrival. We have done a lot of reading about ways to make healthy attachments with adopted children, and many things we will do might seem odd or inappropriate, but we feel they are important to Kai’s adjustment with us.
As hard as it is to say, please awe at him from our arms for a while! He needs to recognize us as mom and dad before he is ready to be passed around. This is a small window of time we have to develop an appropriate bond. He will be a much happier baby if we give him time to grieve his loses and then form a forever bond. There is no set length of time for this, but we will be able to tell by his reactions whether or not he is ready to be held by others. We still invite you to touch him, hug him, kiss him, talk to him, and play with him. But, for a while, we need to be the only ones to feed, diaper, bathe, cuddle...you get the picture. He will be grieving the loss of his foster family, this usually lasts for at least a few weeks, but grieving episodes could occur for months after his arrival. Grieving episodes are intensified by over stimulation, so we need to keep his world quiet and small for his first weeks with us.
We have been so blessed by this gift. We want to make sure we are doing everything we can for Kai to feel the security his birth-mother wanted for him. We know many of you have bonded with him just as we have! So many of you have prayed daily for him and we do not underestimate the bond or love you feel for him. We hope you understand our need for this special time with our baby boy. If you have any questions, please call or email.

KAI IS COMING HOME!!!!

Some call it Boxing Day, some call it Kwanza, some call it "recovery" day, but from this year forward, we will call it FAMILY DAY!! Our precious little boy will be in our arms forever the DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS!!! We are absolutely thrilled beyond words, so relieved this journey is almost over, and so excited to start our life as a family. We will be leaving on Christmas Day, and will meet him in San Francisco early Wednesday morning! By that evening, we will all be home together. We are so thankful to all our friends and family who have been so supportive during this process; we will never be able to tell you or repay you for all your positive thoughts and prayers. We're almost there!!
RA

Conquering the Mountain

OK, so not really a "mountain", but it is a really big hill! Those of you that had the pleasure of visiting us at our previous house, the one on "the hill", know what I'm talking about. During the 3 years that we lived in that house, I became "one" with the hill. It was my biggest nemesis, and I took pleasure in conquering it on a nearly weekly basis. I overtook it mostly by foot (and a few times by bike while I was training for a duathalon), always with an overwhelming sense of accomplishment at the finish. The route is an almost 4 mile loop, half of which is straight up, the other half is straight down. This probably sounds crazy to most of you, but my running buddies can understand, that hill really helped me through some tough times; always leaving me with a clearer mind and an incredible feat achieved. After the rough time we had this week, waiting for the phone call that never came, I was left with feelings of anger, frustration and confusion. What better way to vent myself than by visiting my old friend, "the hill"? I'm not one to toot my own horn, but I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself. We moved from that house almost a year and a half ago (we now live in the flat lands- not a hill in sight), and I have had only a few hill workouts since, mostly during my marathon training last winter. Since recovering from my stress-fracture, I have done 1 or 2. What I'm trying to say, is that even with very little hill experience lately, I sailed up that thing, in about the same amount of time that it took me when we lived up there, not having to stop or walk at all! Today I clocked 42 minutes, for a very hilly, 4 mile run! More importantly, I was able to vent my frustrations, and now feel able to enjoy what very easily could be our last weekend before parenthood! We're going to try to get everything for Christmas finished up, and have a few holiday events to attend. I hope to return next week with some good news for all of you!!
RA

A lesson in patience

If you're reading this, and it's the most recent post in the blog...relax, you haven't missed "it". The "it" I'm referring to is our long awaited travel call. Here we are, over a week "post VISA", and still no word about our sweet little boy. This week has absolutely been the longest week of my life! Every second just ticks by at a snail's pace as we wait, wait, wait for the phone to ring. I feel like through this whole process I've been pretty patient. Waiting over 10 months for a match, waiting over 11 weeks for immigration clearance...I am starting to lose patience! Really, in terms of what we've gone through, waiting 1-2 weeks for travel notification should not really be a big deal. But, it SOOO is! Maybe it's because we're soo close, maybe it's because everyday is closer to Christmas...I don't know, but this is all really starting to get to me! I am so ready to be done with this, and have our little guy home to start our life as a family.
At least we've been in communication with our agency, and they assure us the Korean agency is "working on it". Not really what I wanted to hear, but much better than a response like, "VISA, what VISA??". They also said that travel is not being delayed due to Kai being ill, so that's good. We just have to pray it stays that way! (They won't let him travel if he gets sick at all, even a cold)
I am starting to lose hope that he'll be home for Christmas. If we don't hear anything this week, he probably won't be.
This is definitely not easy to go through...it's been said many times on my web forum..."Adoption is not for wimps." So true.
Also- happy 10 months to Kai today! We hope you're home very, very soon!!!
RA

Life Takes---VISA!!!!

Kai's VISA was issued TODAY!! Our agency has notified us that we should know his travel plans by early next week! WOW!! What more is there to say? Our prayers are being answered and our dreams are coming true! Now we just need to pray for quick travel arrangements and safe travels for our boy and his escort! This is just so amazing...I am speechless!
RA

In progress...

At this very moment, on the other side of the world, our sweet little boy is having his exit interview!! We have been waiting for this moment all weekend (yes, it's been a long weekend)! OK, so I found out it's not really an "interview". He doesn't even have to go to the embassy. It's more like an appointment that someone from Holt Korea goes to, and takes all his paperwork to get his VISA. I really did like the visions in my head of our little Kai, all dressed in his Sunday best, going down to the embassy to get cleared to come home. But, I am happy that his foster mother does not have to take him, since that would be a lot of trouble for her. This has certainly all become a lot more "real" over the past few days; I am having the sleepless nights and knots in my stomach to prove it.
RA

Kai's Exit Interview!!

WOW!! A few short weeks ago we felt like Kai would never get home, now things are moving WAY faster than we ever imagined!!! I just got off the phone with the VISA center in Wash., DC, and was informed that Kai has his EXIT interview on 12/3!!! To say we are in a total state of shock would be an understatement!! I was not even expecting his I-171 to reach Seoul until Monday, and now that's the day he has his exit interview! So, now you're probably wondering what happens next. After his exit interview on Monday, his VISA will probably be issued within a couple days. After that, Holt Korea will start working on travel arrangements to get him home. This usually takes about a week or so. When his travel is arranged, they will call us (the highly anticipated "travel call"), and notify us as to when he'll be HOME!! Yes, I said, home!!! (Can you tell I'm in shock?) Looks like all our prayers for a Christmas Miracle are working!!
RA

Great news for a new Friend!!

If you've talked to me in the past few months, you have undoubtedly heard about my new friend "H" (keeping details out to protect their privacy). We met on the Holt web forum, and have met in person a few times. She is also a waiting mom, her son is in Korea, and is just a few days older than Kai. Our "timelines" have been nearly identical since our referrals in Aug. We live in the same state, so they were stuck in the same CIS mess that we were. They pulled out ahead of us in late October when they got their immigration approval, and have been about 2 weeks ahead of us since then. Well...today they got their TRAVEL CALL!!! YAY! I am so excited for her and her family!! Sounds like on Monday, they will be Korea bound!! We have already decided that our sons will be friends, and hopefully they'll be able to come to the airport when Kai comes home (and vice versa)! I can't wait to see her cutie pie in her arms, and can't wait to see our boys together!!
RA

More to be thankful for...

After a very fun trip to see our friends and families for the Thanksgiving holiday, we are safely back at home, with more exciting news on our adoption. First of all, yesterday we got word, from the NVC, that Kai's immigration approval has been sent to Seoul! That means that everything that needs to happen in the US, has happened! As if this wasn't enough to shoot us off to Cloud 9, when we got home today we had another wonderful surprise. A well baby report!! So, here's the latest on Kai: he's now measuring 21.6 lbs and 28.75 inches tall. He has 4 teeth, and is pulling himself up. He's also saying "Mama" and "Dada" (it didn't specify, but I'm assuming he's saying these in Korean). His report said that he was "well cared for", and a "cute, alert and active boy". It was wonderful to hear that he's doing well, but also bittersweet to see what milestones he's passed. He's going to be such a "little man" when he comes home! We don't expect to hear anything further regarding his arrival, until his I-171 reaches Seoul, which will probably take 10-14 days. At that point, they will begin filing his VISA! :-)
RA

A Day for Giving Thanks

This year we have so much to be thankful for. We are thankful for each other; and the love, friendship and companionship that we share. We are thankful for our son who is waiting in Korea to come home to us. We are thankful that we both have secure jobs, and that we have food on our table and a roof over our heads. We are thankful that we live in a free country that allows us to build our family through international adoption. We are thankful for our social worker, and all the wonderful people at Holt International who have aided us thus far in our adoption. We are thankful for all the wonderful and caring people at Holt Korea who have been tending to Kai’s needs, and preparing everything in Korea for him to travel. We are thankful for his wonderful foster mother who has loved him and cared for him like one of her own. We are so very thankful to his birth mother, that she loved him so much that she gave him the gift of life. We are thankful for our wonderful families, who have been 100% supportive of our adoption, and are waiting, with arms open and ready, to receive our new son into our family. We are thankful for all our amazing friends, who have been so supportive over the past several years; always there, lending either a shoulder to cry on, or a smile to brighten our day, whichever it is we need. Above all, we give thanks to God, who has provided all these wonders in our life.
Happy Thanksgiving!!
Joe & Ruth Anne

Family Photo

Today we took our first family photo:



We took it to make a Thank You card for a group of Joe's wonderful co-workers who gave us the rocking chair at our shower (along with a basket brimming with other goodies). In the background you can see the banner that they also had at the shower, made by "Nana Hannah" (note: our name has been cropped to protect the innocent).
RA

I-171...

In our hot little hands!! (This document is the approval of our orphan petition) I am so happy, this means it is already well on it's way to New Hampshire! It brought tears to my eyes just to see our names on the form...with his name as the beneficiary...he's really ours!
RA

FINALLY...SOME GOOD NEWS!!

Today we received a phone call from our Senator's office, saying that our I-600 (orphan petition) was approved this morning!! This is what we've been waiting for! We don't know if it was approved as a result of our appointment with them last Friday, or if it's because the Senator's office called on our behalf, but we really don't care! It's approved! Now it must make a journey to New Hampshire (via snail mail, of all things), then it must be logged in and processed through the "National Visa Center" (NVC). From there it is sent to Korea. Once the hard copy arrives in Seoul, the embassy can start processing Kai's Visa! From this point, our agency is saying he should be home in 4-6 weeks. Yikes! That's cutting it awfully close to Christmas! We need lots of prayers that everything goes flawless from here, so we can be on the low end of that timeframe. We need to get our little boy home, so he can spend his first Christmas with his forever family!!
RA

Another month gone by...

Today our sweet Kai is 9 months old. Today I thought of him every time I saw the date (OK, who am I joking? I think of him all the time anyway...). Wondering what milestones he's met this month. Sitting up? Crawling? How we long for another update on him...or better yet to hold him in our arms. Hurry home baby boy!
RA

Ridin' the 'coaster

Yesterday was a roller coaster ride of a day if we've ever had one! We felt just about any emotion you can think of, all in one day...needless to say we're a little drained today!
We started the day out with butterflies in our tummies and high hopes as we had our appointment with the USCIS. Those high hopes quickly plummeted as we first found out that "the lady who deals with adoptions is off today", and then the news that our request to bring Kai into the US has not yet been approved. I tried to hold it together and stay composed, I really did. But, hearing those two things just sent me over the edge and I had a full-on breakdown right there in the CIS waiting room. I am so thankful that Joe was there and able to keep composure enough to speak with the supervisor and plead our case. We got the same story we've been hearing for the past 6 weeks- "the officer is new, having trouble getting them done, we hope to get to it in the next few weeks". We feel this is no excuse, it seems as if they have no idea that there is a real baby on the other side of the world who can't come home until they do their job. Needless to say, we left their office crushed, heart broken, devastated and hopeless. In the end, we left a message for the "adoption specialist" to call us next week with a status check (of course, we won't hear anything until Tues at the earliest since Mon is a holiday for them). We do know that our request is "on the officer's desk", but we also know it has been there for the past 6 weeks...
So, we headed home...and to a baby shower in our honor. After getting no info from CIS, I was crushed and really not feeling up to a baby shower. Luckily, we had a long drive to settle down, and thanks to the power of modern technology (cell phones), we actually made quite a few calls while driving home. By the time we reached our shower destination (LTD), we had contact information for one of our senators and placed a call to his office. We ended up leaving a message with an immigration specialist there who assured us she would inquire with CIS about our case (unfortunately she also needs to speak with the lady who was off yesterday, so we'll hear nothing from them until next week). After settling down, and beginning steps of getting local government involved, I was feeling better about the shower.
It was such a wonderful time, again blessed beyond belief by Joe's co-worker's and friends. We are truly overwhelmed by everyone's generosity and helping us prepare for our new arrival. After it was said and done, I was happy we had something fun to come home to and were surrounded by such supportive people after such a huge let-down. It was much better than if I had come home to sulk by myself.
Later in the day, I was able to speak with the head social worker for our branch office of Holt, and she was very encouraging. She said that even though we feel like our trip was a waste of time and nothing happened, something really did happen and it will bring our case to the fore-front in that office and hopefully speed things up for us.
We are still feeling very frustrated with the whole situation, but we're also feeling like we have more control if we get some local politicians involved. Or, at least we feel like we're "doing something".
We're looking forward to the weekend, relaxing, going through stuff from our shower yesterday, and perhaps a little retail therapy (with gift cards from showers- even better!!). Hope you all have a good weekend, and please continue to keep us in your prayers.
RA

Bunco Baby Shower

Last week at Bunco, the bunco babes threw me a baby shower. The bunco babes are absolutely the best, and are all so excited for our sweet baby boy to come home! I've been playing with this group of wonderful women for (I think) about 7 years now, and they've all been so supportive through our journey. It was so fun to celebrate our son with them, and they're all asking when he'll come play Bunco!! Thanks you guys- you're awesome!! (Be sure to take special note of the cake that Chris made herself- decorations and all!!) Click here to see the pictures!
RA

Party Time!!

As you can probably guess by now, we have no "adoption news" to share yet. We are still on pins and needles for our USCIS approval. Even though I am expecting through adoption (vs. pregnancy), I fully believe I am going through the same (or some) stages that occur in pregnancy. Right now, that would be nesting. I have been for a while now, but I am just really feeling the need to finish up projects and make things "homey". So, my weekend consisted of some major nesting activities yesterday, and a family birthday party at our house today.
Yesterday I spent cleaning, making a card collage for Kai's room, and working on sewing projects for Christmas. I made the card collage with ribbons from shower gifts (thanks, Kim), and cards from our showers and random baby cards from friends and family. Sorry, I cannot disclose more about the sewing projects since the recipients read this blog...
Here is a picture of my creation for Kai's room.Today, we had a birthday party for my Mom and Dad (Grandma Nancy and Grandpa Dave), our niece, Bea, and our nephew, Ryan. It was lots of fun, but we were all sad that Joanna (the kids' Mom, and our sister-in-law) was home sick. :-( (Hope you feel better soon- we're praying for you!) Here's a small slide show with pics from that event. Some of them came out dark, but were so darn cute I had to share...

At this point, I'm not planning to hear anything about out CIS approval until our appointment with them later in the week, but will definitely share when we hear something!!
RA

The wait continues

So, if anyone out there is keeping track, we are now at 11 weeks since our match, and 9 weeks waiting for US immigration approval. Do I need to say we're getting tired of waiting? (we won't even start on how long we've been waiting to have a child...) Everyday we're getting increasingly frustrated. For the last 18 months, I think I've been pretty good at just sitting back and letting everything work itself out, but I've decided it's time to "make waves". OK, don't think I'm going to do anything drastic, I've just decided it's time to start making more calls, more inquiries, and maybe having our name floating around the office will spark some interest in approving our request. I really don't know if this will do any good, but at least we'll feel like we're doing something. I realize that we really have NO control over this, and we're at the total mercy of our government-how scary is that??
As always, thanks for checking in- sorry I didn't have any good news to share...
RA